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The Jerk Whisperer

The Jerk Whisperer – How to Keep Adults Acting Like Adults

I’m here to help you escape the quicksand of dealing with toxic people and their behaviors. This book will lay out the specific skills needed to win with people and if followed will place a feather in you cap. You will be looked at as the jerk-whisperer.
The eBook is available for the Nook, Kindle, iPad, and laptop / desktop.

Work Zombies


The Fictional Zombies:

Zombies are fictional creatures, typically depicted as mindless, reanimated human corpses with a hunger for human flesh. In popular culture, zombies are people who have died and been reanimated as mindless, nearly invulnerable monsters that band together and attack the living. They are also known as “the living dead,” “the walking dead,” or “the undead.” Not to mention, the first time I saw zombies they were dancing in sync with music in the video “Thriller”, which scared the breakfast out of me.

Though many people are familiar with zombies from horror movies, TV shows, and video games, their history dates back hundreds of years, to stories in Haitian Voodoo folklore. In the Haitian culture, there are hundreds of stories of people dying and being brought back to life by a witch doctor. The reawakened person has no awareness of who he used to be.

Zombies did not gain a strong presence in American popular culture, however, until the 1968 release of George A. Romero’s classic horror film, The Night of the Living Dead. The film featured slow-moving, violent, cannibalistic zombies, and many critics believe that it sparked a new era in horror film-making.

The Real Zombies:

If you didn’t already know there ARE real zombies out there; real walking dead, flesh eating, moaning, slow moving monsters. Imagine you are one of the rare self-motivated people at work who is truly there to accomplish big audacious goals that would make a significant difference.

You work your fingers to the bone and don’t care because the work itself is making you happy. Over time your work environment is more and more inundated with people who are just running through the motions. They don’t have any plans for the future and seem to be stuck in a rut which some call a grave with the ends kicked out.  You look around and it looks like people are just sleep walking.  They are the “walking dead”.

You can hear them doing their daily tasks. Instead of having a positive attitude, you can hear them grunting and moaning as they do their daily tasks, “arrrrrrrrrrrrrr”. It definitely sounds like they are in authentic pain. It’s self-imposed pain, but pain none the less.

Like movie zombies, they eat living flesh. They eat the flesh of positivity, innovative ideas, and enthusiasm. They crave and consume the good intentions of decent employees by ensuring that no good deed goes unpunished by pointing out faults, leading the campaign of why things won’t work, and shouting “nah” from the sidelines. They refuse to listen to reason and become very combative and angry when anyone tries to shake them out of their negative slumber.

Just like you would expect, they are very contagious. When you notice the first zombie, you better watch out. As they continue on, they will bite others converting them into part of them zombie mob. Once bitten the change is slow, but inevitable starting in their eyes. They twinkle they once had has burned out and is replaced with a distant dull look.  The pain of being a zombie begins and the only thing that will satisfy this new hunger is to eat live flesh of enthusiasm employees.

What to do about zombies:

Isolate and medicate with truthful feedback and a game plan to get back to their former living positive self.

Questions Drive Behavior

Originally posted on How Leaders Manage:


When many people think of management they think of a person sitting behind a big oak desk shouting orders and demanding perfection.  Other people think of management as a person with the sole responsibility of standing behind you with a whip striking you in the back of the legs while ordering you to pull the cart faster and faster.

This is why the word management has become such a negative term and people gravitate more to the word leadership. A leader is one who grabs the reins of the cart first and begins to pull while simultaneously influencing others to do the same. Leadership is all well and good if you have that amount of time to work with a small group. Most of the time, you can’t pull that off. Your time is valuable and to be effective you have to be in more than one place and a…

View original 462 more words

Should you get close to your people?

Originally posted on How Leaders Manage:


When I first moved into a leadership role, I had a lot of people tell me that I shouldn’t get close to my people. Some of my mentors, at the time, would go on and on telling how “you can’t be friends or let them get close to you.”

I understand the elements they were trying to portray to me. They thought if you let someone get too close, they would take advantage of you and your guidelines that you set in place to ensure their success. They assumed it would make discipline difficult. However, discipline should not be your main focus. Success should be your focus! It’s like the term, “hold them accountable”. Yes, you need to hold them accountable, but it’s easier to keep them focused.

I took their advice at first. I didn’t let people get close to me. There was a great chiasm between them and…

View original 174 more words

It’ll Run Without Gas…… But Not Oil



An old ATV rumbles to a stop in front of the house on a Sunday afternoon.  An older man swings his leg over the machine and hops off the seat and heads toward the house with the zest of a person in his early thirties and walks up to the front door.  He gives a slight polite knock and he turns the knob and announces his arrival by saying “knock knock.”

“Hey Dad.”

“Hey,” the old man says matter-of-factly. “Is my granddaughter here?”

“Well yeah”, the son laughs. “Where else would she be?”

About that time a bright eyed dark haired beauty scampers down the hallway. “PAWPAW!!!” she screams as she runs toward him with one sock already off and the other flopping from the end of her tiny three year old foot.  She runs as him full speed and locks her arms around the neck of her now kneeling grandfather.

“You care if she comes with me?” the old man asks his son.

“Not at all, have fun.”

“Well put your shoes on”, the man tells the toddler.  The little girls runs and grabs her Velcro strapped Dora the Explorer shoes and plops her pull-ups down on the floor at his feet and attempts to put her shoes on.

“Wrong foot”, the old man says with a smile.  The little girl looks up at him and he points with his finger at the other foot, indicating she is putting the shoe on the wrong foot.

They hop on the four wheeler and make the short trip up the old worn trail through the apple orchard to his house.  As she sits in front of the ATV with her little hands on the rusty handle bars he lets her believe she is driving.

The ATV pulls up to an old tin shed converted into a carport / shed. He picks her up by the waste and sets her down on the dilapidated blacktop.  “Today I’m gonna show you how to use the leaf blower. You are in for a treat. First things first, you always check the oil”, the grandfather says as he hovers over the john deer leaf blower checking the oil. “Remember Maddy, it’ll run without gas but not oil.”

The man realizes she doesn’t really understand what he’s talking about but she is hanging on every word so he keeps talking. “See gas gives it energy to go. Oil keeps all the parts working. If it runs out of gas it just won’t run. If it runs out of oil, it will ruin the whole thing and may never work right again. I used to tell your daddy that when he was little. Did you know that?”

She just stares blankly as he pulls the cord to crank the engine.  Finally he gets it running. She has an absolute blast running around the blacktop showing him the leaves he can blow. Every now and then he points it at her, blowing her hair straight back as she squeals in delight.

They finish the yard work and he straps her in the booster seat of his pickup truck. He drives her home. When they get there he helps her out of the truck and says, “Go tell your daddy you’re going to church with me and ask him if he wants to go.”

The little girl runs inside, excited she gets to stay with Paw Paw a little longer. A few minutes later she runs back out and wants back inside the truck. “He said no thank you. He’s eating!”

“Go back in and tell him what you learned today”, he old man persisted.

The little girl runs back inside and says, “Paw Paw says it’ll run without gas but not oil” then runs back out.

The little girl’s father stops eating his sandwich mid-bite and sets in on the table, staring straight ahead. He is immediately taken back to his father always saying that to him as a child, but this time it was coming from his little angel. He realized at that moment that his wise father was never really talking about leaf blowers and weed eaters. Tears roll down his face.  It meant something else entirely.





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Lessons From Paw Paw Cover


Why do bad things happen to good people?


I’ve always been a true believer in the ideology that you reap what you sow. I sternly believe that if you do good things you will have good things happen to you in return.

On the flip side I believe that if you do bad things that bad things will happen to you in return.  That’s only fair. If someone does something that hurts others, they should be punished accordingly.

However, I’ve never really been comfortable with the question, “Why do bad things happen to good people?”  I’m an amateur on the bible but I thought it could have been because your ancestors were being punished through you. After all we are all still suffering for the sins of Adam and Eve.

I’ve also heard many times that the world is just random acts and that no one is promised a life of ease, but I believe it’s more than that! I believe EVERYTHING IS ON PURPOSE.

Now, I’m an amateur on the bible but I did come across a story from John 9 that seemed to clear everything up for me.

                “As Jesus was walking along, he saw a man who had been blind from birth. ‘Rabbi,’ his disciples asked him, ‘why was this man born blind? Was it because of his own sins or his parents’ sins?’

‘It was not because of his sins or his parents’ sins,’ Jesus answered. ‘This happened so the power of God could be seen in him. We must quickly carry out the tasks assigned us by the one who sent us.’”

Bad things happen to us so the Power of God can be seen in us. ……….. WOW!

Paul said to rejoice in our sufferings because God has a habit of turning weaknesses into strengths.

Think about:

  • The Roman Cross – once a symbol of oppression and torment is now a sign of love and forgiveness
  • Paul of Tarsus – once a tyrant killing Christians is now known as the great messenger of God
  • Helen Keller – once a deaf mute child is now remember as an inspiration
  • Moses – once known as a murderer with a speech impediment is now known as one of the original prophets
  • David – once a small insignificant boy turned into a great warrior king who God showed favor to with all David touched

How much more powerful is a message when delivered by a person who has experienced immense setbacks or has an overwhelming weakness only to have succeeded despite it?

We must quickly carryout the tasks assigned to us.  When you have setback or handicap don’t become bitter. True maturity is accepting it and looking for a way to turn it into a strength in order to honor your Father.

Everything is on purpose. Don’t waste it. Don’t waste cancer, divorce, illness, speech impediments, your body, job loss, bankruptcy, and the loss of a loved one. Don’t waste it.  Ask yourself, “How can I use this?”

The Jerk Whisperer – How to Keep Adults Acting Like Adults